I'm going to make a suggestion about your music; to me, it just seems too modern and 'fantasy' as opposed to military and brash American - I think you might need something a bit more like this:
You need more drums, more militarism, more Americanism - especially in terms of when it segues into the 'jazzy sexy lady' bit!
I think you also need some American military chants to accompany those little sperm guys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scGeHabVQ2M
I like the vinyl scratch etc. but the timing's off - that needs to coincide much more with the appearance of the female. I think too there's a much tighter edit between the scene of the sperms 'wolf-whistling' and the shot of the egg waving her handkerchief - I think there are a few sections where you could tighten the edit between the shots to keep things a bit pacier.
I also think there might be an argument for desaturated your film a bit and giving it a more worn out 'film stock' feel in After Effects - for example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa2s9sfRg2Q
My general point is that you need to embrace a bit further the whole 'world' of your film - which is sort of a relic of a war-film - something 'classic' and bit a dated too - just consider ways in which you can tighten up your visual concept and bring out the charm still further from what you've achieved here.
Hey Tom,
ReplyDeleteI'm going to make a suggestion about your music; to me, it just seems too modern and 'fantasy' as opposed to military and brash American - I think you might need something a bit more like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWXQUhBsUVM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbsuAbTTsV8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtBMgAUQQS8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_hP9_-DB_8
You need more drums, more militarism, more Americanism - especially in terms of when it segues into the 'jazzy sexy lady' bit!
I think you also need some American military chants to accompany those little sperm guys:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scGeHabVQ2M
I like the vinyl scratch etc. but the timing's off - that needs to coincide much more with the appearance of the female. I think too there's a much tighter edit between the scene of the sperms 'wolf-whistling' and the shot of the egg waving her handkerchief - I think there are a few sections where you could tighten the edit between the shots to keep things a bit pacier.
I also think there might be an argument for desaturated your film a bit and giving it a more worn out 'film stock' feel in After Effects - for example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa2s9sfRg2Q
My general point is that you need to embrace a bit further the whole 'world' of your film - which is sort of a relic of a war-film - something 'classic' and bit a dated too - just consider ways in which you can tighten up your visual concept and bring out the charm still further from what you've achieved here.